Thursday, August 19, 2010

The "Have I Already Ruined My Son For Life??!?!?" Moment Of the Day

Setting
Having just been changed after playing outside in water, I'm (Brian) trying to convince a tired O to put on his shirt.


Dialogue
O: I don't like my penis.

[Dada: Oh $h%^! What have I done to my son at so young an age?!?!?? Does he want to have a sex change already?!?!? Am I not affirming his masculinity?!??]

O: I don't like my penis.
D [apprehensively, with internal panic, guilt, shame, etc]: Oh? Why not?
O [think Rainman]: Yeah. I don't like my penis.
D [maintain internal emotional control, he's 2.5 years old]: You don't like your penis? Can you tell dada why?
O [still rainman]: yeah. I don't like my penis.
D [try same tack, something's gotta give, right?] Ok. Can you tell dada why?
O [still rainman]: yeah. I don't like my penis.
D [confusion, reasoning isn't working] Ooooook... You don't like your penis?
O [rolling around a bit, fidgeting]. Yeah. I don't like my penis.
D [silence] ????
O [absent-mindedly kicking at dada] I don't like my shirt.
D [heart rate drops from hummingbird speed, sweat dissipates, embarrassment sets in] Right O. That's good, neither does dada.

Longest 30 seconds of my week. Eeesh.

4 comments:

suzannah {so much shouting, so much laughter} said...

funny:) man, they'll get on a negative kick and look out!

ben wideman said...

Hilarious - although I just had a depressingly sinking feeling that I will one day have an even more embarrassing conversation with my tiny daughter... Let's hope not.

Rachel Elek said...

That is so funny!!

Joshua said...

It's ok. I don't like my penis either.